I used to be in a Fight Club. But I got kicked out for breaking rules 1 and 2. Which are: You do not talk about Fight Club.

OK, it wasn't a Fight Club. It was a Computer Club.

Back in the days when computers were much simpler, and so was I, I could do stuff. This was back when most people were still using typewriters, and I don't mean those electronic typewriters. I mean the Old School Kind that you could smash over someone's head and then use to weigh the body down with afterwards..

One lunchtime I worked out how to get into the system, backdoor-styles, and I changed the name of our high school to [name of hick town removed] Dickhead's School.
So I got called before Dean. While they couldn't prove anything, the Dean said he knew it was me and that my membership to the [name of hick town removed] Dickhead's School Computer Club was hereby revoked, and I would have to find something else to do with my lunchtimes. So I grew dope in the horticulture patch and bought and sold endangered wildlife instead.

But, just to prove I was not a geek at school, I will outline my other memberships from that period:

• Chess Club, captain. (I was only there for the groupies).
  
• Dungeons & Dragons Club. (I was only there to make sweet, imaginary love with the Elfish princesses).
  
• Young Farmers Club. (We got together, drank piss and talked about cows. We DID NOT get together, get pissed, and make love to cows.)

I was also a big Star Wars fan. One of my earlier memories was watching a television trailer for Star Wars in 1977, when I was 3. I bugged my parents into buying me the Star Wars record (anyone remember records?), which helped make George Lucas a billion bucks.
My All Time Fantasy is to level the city of Auckland and replant it with giant trees. So that I can live in an Ewok village. I have the plans all drawn up, and everything. I'm just waiting for the planning permission.

Oh, I'm also a Jedi Knight. More than 50,000 New Zealanders list Jedi as their official religion. There are now more Jedi here than Buddhists, Baptists, Mormons and Hindus.
I am getting a bit disillusioned with the Force, though. Like, Luke just went ahead and believed Darth Vader was his father without demanding a DNA test, or anything. The whole Jedi Movement just hasn't been the same since Yoda died.

This chick over at Kitchen Logic tells of an amusing close encounter with a sci-fi freak.
I, myself, would never draw my lightsaber on an innocent member of the public. Unless I thought they were after The Droids. Then I would have no choice. Which would be embarrassing, because when I say "lightsaber", I mean "flashlight". And the batteries are pretty flat.

Speaking of school days, Golfwidow wonders if there's a link between people of great intelligence and those who were also picked last for playground teams. I remember that sometimes I got picked first. But only if one of my friends was the Chooser.
My friends were all imaginary…

I was often the last kid standing in a game of bullrush, though. The excitement of realising I was the winner was rapidly replaced by the realisation that it is not always a good thing to be the last one standing, as 50 other kids come piling on top of you.

Kids can be so cruel. School is just a metaphor for life, really. Except you have to make your own play lunch when you grow up. I still have crisp sandwiches though. It's made me the man I am today.