With my childhood powers,
I could stop the rain …
There’s a scene in the TV show The Office where Tim is describing his job to the camera and then he suddenly stops mid-sentence and goes “…and I’m boring myself talking about it”.That's kinda how I feel at the moment.
Yesterday we had a fire drill.
That's the most exciting thing in my working life at the moment.
I normally hate fire drills. I’ve got this theory that the company only holds them to get us outside so the Evil Winged Avenger Systems Department can access our hard drives and see who’s got the biggest MP3 or donkey porn collection. (For the record, it’s not me. Dom The Smelly Hippy currently holds that title.)
So where, was I … ?
Yeah. Fire drills. Normally hate them. But not yesterday.
I pretended that there really was a fire and I pushed co-workers aside as I made a mad, panicked rush for the exit. Then I imagined my boss was too slow and that fire fighters later dragged out their charred corpse.
It was cool.
Actually, now I think about it, there has been a rather interesting development in my life this week.
I’ve discovered that I am psychic.
That I have extra sensory powers.
Yes, I knew that you were going to say you don't believe me.
When I got into work and sat down at my desk yesterday morning, I could hear a ringing in my ears. It sounded like the work fire alarm going off. But, the thing is, it wasn’t. I was just imagining it. But then, two hours later, the fire alarm DID go off for real.
Spooky.
THEN, there’s this guy at work who is probably an even bigger Bob Dylan fan than me. Months ago a leant him my $50 hardback copy of Dylan’s self-penned Chronicles, Vol 1:
I have been hassling him every week since to get it back, but he keeps “forgetting”.
Earlier this week I was sitting at home watching TV, when, for no reason at all, this image popped into my head of this guy leaving the company before he had returned my book.
On Wednesday I received an email from his boss informing me that he had left the company, and, infact, the city. He still has my book. Bastard!
Now, I’m not saying that I have some spooky God-like powers of synchronicity, where I imagine things and they then appear.
I’m not saying I am some awesome conjurer of fate.
But it certainly looks that way, doesn't it?
In other news, I’m sneaking out early this afternoon to go visit my parents, who have decided to move back to the country and return to farming.
It should be fun to be around farm animals again...
More proof of my Awesome Powers:Just before I went to load this entry at Diaryland, I got this image in my head of a message saying something along the lines of "If you are reading this, the new database servers are extra-loaded and you'll have to wait a minute and try again". And then I get into the site and you know what? That's the message I got.
(OK, this may not be such a great psychic example, seeing as Diaryland seems to be shitting itself every other day. Giant Monkey Puss Balls!)
BUT...
I spent the next two hours trying to get into the "Add an entry" section. Then, just moments ago, I focussed all my psychic powers on the computer. I visualised seeing the page that would enable me to make my entry, instead of the "Servers shitting themselves" message. And you know what? Here's the proof that it worked.
Spooky.
Perhaps I should start up an 0900 Psychic Hotline...
