I was unaware.

Just giving a friend a ride to the big city so he could be there for his girlfriend’s birthday.

They wanted to set me up with another one of her friends. But it was you that came along ice skating with her that night. Which is fortunate, seeing as I later discovered that their plans involved setting me up with a hobbit. Which is fine if you also happen to be a hobbit. But not if you’re a giant, giraffe-necked freak. Who is scared of hobbits.

You came over to talk. I was playing space invaders. I offered you 40-cents so you could join in as the second player. You thought I was a dick. But baby – the D-Man didn’t go around offering 40 cents to just anyone! That was my way of saying I liked you. So were all those stones I threw at you. And all those times I pulled your hair and called you names.

You joke and tell people that you only went out with me because you thought I was a rich man. But by time you found out the truth, it was “too late”.

But the thing is, 12-years on exactly, I am a rich man – I have you.

And I’d be lost without you.

No, seriously - You know my memory sucks, and if you ever took me out into the countryside and then put me in a sack and dumped me on the side of the road, I would probably never be able to find my way home again. I’d be completely lost. My only hope would be if a pack of passing wolves took me in and cared for me and taught me the ways of the wild so I could fend for myself. Otherwise I’d be absolutely stuffed. Living off of bugs and blades of grass...

So, baby, I wanna thank you.

I love you.

This is my love song to you

Have you ever wanted to
say something so sweet
But all that manages to come out of your lips
is something sounding like drunken-hearted tunes?
Well, baby, this is my love song to you.

I'm not a poet, I can't blow your mind
But you can blow mine anytime you like
You can encroach on my own private space
You can put a smile upon my face.

I like to see you naked on the bed
I like to see the expression as you tear
Away my buttons, I don't need them anyway
I like to hear you scream "baby! baby!”
You to me are one impressive view
And baby, this is my love song to you.

You are the reason
why I'm singing
this song.
I was outside freezing
but then you came along.
You made me a rich man and I'm here to pay my dues,
Well, baby, this is my love song to you.

I'm not a singer, I can't sing a song
but I'll hum and you can dance
a long time ago, I was a solitary man,
but you came and took me for what I am.

I am indebted to your eternal grace
I like to see the expression as you wake
and shake the night from out of your hair
I like to see you naked on the bed
You to me are one impressive view
And, baby, this is my love song to you…